Morning. It's early to be awake.The world is foggy outside my window. It's still early but I could tell that there is something going on in the air. Time hasn't erased that familiar pain in my chest.

I am blogging again for the need of it. I know I've been selfish for shutting you out of my world. To those who sent me emails asking me to write again, Thank you. But I am utterly selfish when I am happy. My happiness is not for other people's consumption. Happiness isn't always a familiar feeling to me so when it comes, I guard it carefully and hold it closely to my chest so no one can steal it. It has become a part of my being in the past months.

I couldn't bear it when there are real tears. I held them for as long as I could until my nose got hurt. I guess I've set my defenses so low that I could feel it building behind my eyes. Today I couldn't stop them from streaming down my face. I couldn't help but wish for something or someone to save me. But even Messiahs lie.

On this day last year I was in Tagaytay with someone surreal yet wonderful. He said he would never leave but three days later he flew to another country. I guess it's true what my friend said, Love is just a moment.

I am trying to feel better but the pain won't go away. It's like a wraith that follows me. My tears want to break free.

Now I can only hear a mantra that says...

Tired children cry.