It's cold and foggy outside my window. June air permeates through my curtains. In the background are rising buildings beneath greens of the earth and short of reaching hues of nimbus clouds, or so it seems from where I am. Pigeons probably flew up the Northern sky so what remains are rusty wires hung through mid-air. I look at my bed-- nothing special about a cold morning away from home. The morning ambiance is more than enough to start a novel, which I am sure I could not start anyway.


* * * * * *


She was supposed to be a beautiful June bride, if it were not for her callousness and pride. I could not call the whole event a solemn ceremony, it was more of a masquerade. Nah, it was more of a shenanigan than a masquerade. It was an ostentatious display of pomp and luxury without coherence. The groom was not only undershadowed but looked slovenly. I should know. The entourage was full of popular people in the city, most of them are unknown to me. There was my mom and her sister of course. The rest were nothing more than broken bodies with pretentious faces. The bride looked okay but she was more endearing five years ago when she told me that she would like to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. That didn't come true of course since I am still single and don't have plans to get married anytime soon. Well the bride was obviously proud on her wedding day not because she got her man but because there were many people who witnessed and shared her lavish lifestyle. She's the closest girl to me in the family (at least when she was still single) but now, I barely know her. She put on a different face, something that money can buy. I pity the groom, I bet she couldn't buy him love.


* * * * * *


The plan was for him to get out of that very compromising situation. He said he needed my help and my advice. I refused at first because I don't honestly believe that we could maintain a platonic relationship over the period of "therapy." It doesn't work for me, at least not yet. I volunteered another guy to help him with his dilemma but he had an issue about readiness. I don't want this to be personal was my first rule. He obliged at first so I went on with role as his "adviser." I talked with him, sent him SMS and e-mails, bought him books and invited him to the church to listen to the Gospel. I am not sure if he did that out of sincerity but as time passed, he resorted to flattery. He began noticing small things about me, how tantalizing my eyes are, how full are my lips-- things like that. Then it escalated to, I love the scent of your hair and the sound of your voice. Then I noticed that whenever I talked, he paid more attention to my lips than my words... I got distracted and stopped talking.

Weeks after that, I confessed that he is inlove with me. I dreaded that to happen.

I think I will never be good at ministering people.


* * * * * *


I haven't been reading lately. Thanks to the internet that provides alternatives for bored souls like me. If it were not for this, I would have already finished all my books on my shelves.


* * * * * *


Last night I received and exchanged a few messages with the same anonymous sender from Saudi who have been sending me SMS for a few days now. The conversation went like this:

Anonymous: Hi. Miss ______, I know you are busy everyday attending to your business daily. I like your style but when you will meet me, I think you should wear blue jeans and white shirt. You'll look better and more beautiful in blue jeans rather than black.

Me: Huh? Where did you see me wearing black jeans? Are you the prince? Why don't you call me?

Anonymous: You mean, you are waiting for your prince charming? I will only call you if you promise to always blue jeans from now on.

Me: I will only wear blue jeans if you will tell me who you are.

Anonymous: I will call you but not now and after you have promised to wear blue jeans. I will spend my life with you. Tsup! Bye.

Me: Oh, i remember you now! You were wearing this handsome suit the last time we met! I suggest you wear that often with yellow tie. You look good in it!

Anonymous: Hahaha! Now I love you already Miss ____, You are very smart and very funny. I like that about you.


After sending more messages and after getting "Check Operator Services," I realized that I was texting someone from abroad so I read the book I was reading instead.

After a few minutes, I fell asleep.


So much for a boring ending.


Note: I just don't feel like writing these days. I'm afraid if I write It'll be as mediocre as this entry.