I will probably give up anything that I do now to be cushioned again by the serenity of Sariaya. If there were one place where I wanted to be immersed in the enormous coalescence of Earth, Water and Sky, this would be it. Perhaps because it has people who are more closer to nature, therefore more natural, compared to natives of other islands who are already aroused by sophistication, some of them have savoir faire in their ways and therefore a bit cunning already.

Sariaya reminds me of the reality that I am, afterall, just a speck in the universe that awaits for its effulgence to unravel before my astonished face. It is where I want to become a writer or a novelist. It where I am driven to write about the weals and woes of people and their prosaic lives.

It is where I am reminded of the queer style that urban life offers me and those contrived, theatrical faces that burgeon right in front of me, if I am of any use to them. Sariaya did not give me the attention that I longed for, and I am thankful for that. It feeds my quest for anonymity and makes me more ecstatic. The city could not handle my unavowed self, it digs deeper and further until what is left of me will only be a strap of mystery.

I wonder if Sariaya fisherfolks still wonder how a ship can travel across China and the whole of Asia in a span of days. I wonder if they still think of me as a lady of colossal imagination who can think of such. Ignorance is blissful. How these men regarded me as a different creature suprised me. I wanted to give them a more complex explanation for our differences, like I am a product of the urban life they never experienced. If they just knew, I also want to be in their place just for once, so the complexities of my life will go away even for a time.

My friend Al Fay always talks about preaching Islam to farmers and fisherfolks in the outskirts of Mindanao. He said it gives him more satisfaction that pursuing a Psychology degree at a good university. It saddens me that he relates to me not as a budding preacher but as a philanthropist at heart. It saddens me because it reminds me that my desires for a provincial life are nothing but my attempts to escape my own reality.